The Christian Vanguard

The word "patriot" has as part of it's root the Latin word for "Father". Think of the prayer "Pater Nostra" for example. It's a bit of an older way of speaking, but we sometimes call our home country the "Fatherland". So someone who is a patriot is someone who has a love for their fatherland, or their home country. Patriotism describes one's love for their fatherland. When it comes to love of America, there is something in the culture which causes some people to pause or hesitate. Should we love America?  Sometimes you see this in the current culture war surrounding the phrase "Make America Great Again". I often hear a leftist ask, "When was America ever great?" So, if I were to tell my leftist friends I was proud to be an American, or I love that I am an American, they may ask, "What is there to be proud of?" with their noses raised.  There is plenty to be proud of. I can worship the Lord every Sunday wi...

I have a conversion story that some people find entertaining. I think I am a good story teller, and sometimes, I will hear, "Yeah, I just have a boring testimony, if you even want to call it that. I was just baptized and raised in the faith. Nothing crazy." I make it a point, if I ever hear this, that those are stories that really matter. The boring stories where nothing dramatic happens. Those are more important. Why? Because obviously, some people need grace. The guy who murdered his friend in cold blood and found himself in prison for 20+ years, or the drug dealer who ruined many lives, or the porn star who found a way out of the industry, yes, all these people need grace, and it is very obvious that they need saving grace. And often times, these are interesting stories to hear. But the worry is that such stories of conversion downplay the work of Christ in everyone else's life. The worry is that if you didn't lead that bad or crazy or dramatic of a life, you don...

Some time ago, I wrote on this blog about a dream I had of a lost friend, and how I woke up crying because I hadn't seen her in so long, and my dream was a fresh reminder of her face. Last night, the same thing happened, but for an ex love of mine. In my dream, I was walking towards class, and I happened to bump into her. I didn't recognize her at first, but details started forming as I continued to talk with her. I told her how happy I was to see her, after not seeing her for too long, even though we had a painful conversation (why did you come here-because I still love you-don't tell me that, I can't bear it-marry me).  Dreams are shadows of reality. They can make the incoherent coherent. While in real life, I cannot force her to freely love me again (to force something freely is a contradiction), I can make it so in my dreams, and more easily in my imagination. But life too is a shadow of heaven. Contrary to the cynicists, in virtue of our participation in Being...

I was asked to give a short talk to the Newman club here at CSULB, and they asked me to answer the question: How did you fall in love with God? Now, I'm not the sentimental type, and this was definitely out of my comfort zone, but they asked for a short 5 minute talk, and I figured it wasn't that bad. So here is what I wrote up. I didn't read it out, but I typed it so that when I gave the talk, I knew in my mind what to say. Here it is.  How I Fell In Love With God Many of you have already heard my long and dry conversion story from atheism, that is, my move from believing that there was no such thing as God and no such person as Jesus, to not only believing such people did exist, but that they were legitimately Lord of my life. While many people are interested in the arguments and evidences of my beliefs, I don’t really talk about how my relationship with God developed. I’ve said a lot about how I came to know God, but not how I came to love God.  The two are ...

Here is a brief review I wrote on Amazon for this resentful little book.

For some reason, I have lost a friend again, but this time, not as serious. My friend posted up a political post on her Facebook account, I politely questioned the wisdom of said post, and she promptly deleted me. And you know what, I took that pretty hard. This person was a reader of my blog, a supporter of my decision to leave the ICOC, and my sister in the Catholic Faith. Last time something like this happened, I wondered what a relationship would look like if one continued to love the other, even if that love is not reciprocated. I want to revisit that here. While I questioned whether love is still real even if not reciprocated, I wonder whether friendship can still exist even if it is not reciprocated. I think the general conclusion I drew was that yes, you could still love this person, even if it had to go through some type of transformation, but I don't know that the same could as easily be said about friendship. If we say that these people are friends, we generally und...

I've wondered what it means to be in love. What does it mean to say, "I'm in love"? There is a popular understanding of it, which is, "I have romantic attractions about this person" but I've been trying to square that with my understanding that love is the willing of the good for the other person. When we say "I'm in love", according to this popular understanding, we are only saying something about ourselves. We aren't saying anything really about the other person. And that seems to be a problem, since willing the good for the other, the traditional definition of love, and excluding them in the popular definition, are at odds. So, maybe we can understand "being in love" in this way: willing the good for the other (basic def.) but believing that you are that (or a) good for the other. 

I have this friend, call him Fred. Fred is a good friend. Smart guy. I had a lot of people rooting for me to convert him to Catholicism because of our mutual beginnings in a previous protestant society. I would see Fred at Catholic get togethers, BBQ's, Christmas parties, etc. You know, whatever good Christians do. Anyways, Fred got with this girl, and they look like they're enjoying each others company. It's nice to see, because that's something I would like. I thought maybe Fred was doing what is sometimes called a "Dip and Date" where you low key want to baptize (or convert) someone just for the sake of dating them. It does not seem to be working. She, apparently, is a leftist, and has changed him in a mere few months.  Fred, a brother in the good fight, created a bit of scandal when he posted a photo of himself and his girlfriend at a Gay Pride Parade wearing a tee shirt that read, "Stand With Planned Parenthood".  I'm heartbroken an...

You've heard the dating cliche that like attracts like. I used to think this was silly. It could be true or it could be false, but they were true or false in ways that didn't matter, as in personality. But I think I've changed my mind, or at least, I'm willing to agree with this in a very serious way.  The way we are, the way we act, how we carry ourselves and the spirit that we own, we are responsible for this. It is also true and known to most people that good people tend to associate with good people, and that evil tend to associate with other evil people. So, in this way, maybe I agree. But since this can be extended to romantic relationships, then the cliche holds true, but not because it is romantic, but because in general people tend to associate with like minded people.  This is serious because this tells us about our moral character, which is vitally important when it comes to romantic relationships. Now, consider the situation, which I seem to be in, ...

Here is an argument I heard from Jerry Walls. I'll be putting it in my own words and I won't be directly quoting him.  Take any person that you love, like a child, spouse or parent. Would you die for that person? As Scripture says, there is no greater love than laying down your life for a friend. Suppose you say, Yes, you would die for your child. Now, would you die for the salvation of your child? Presumably, yes to that as well. Under Calvinism, God does not love everybody, and God loves only the elect, or at least, died for only the elect. Suppose now that while you love and would die for your child, your child happens not to be a member of the elect. It seems then that you love this person more than God loves this person. This is counter intuitive. 

I was talking to one of my Calvinist friend after some St. Patrick's Day drinks on some points of theology, and not being a Calvinist myself, we found ourselves disagreeing on some important issues. I claimed that God loved everyone, while my Calvinist friend denied that God loves everyone. He said, "So you're telling me that God loves both the saint in heaven praising him and glorifying him and the damned in hell who hate him?"  Why is that controversial? Of course he does. As I have said a thousand times on this blog, love is the willing of the good for the other. For those in heaven, it is uncontroversial that they experience some good, and so it is no surprise that God loves them. But what about those in hell? Can God love those in hell? Well, to translate, or to plug in a definition, does God will the good for those in hell? I don't see why not, and I certainly don't see why hell isn't precisely that good. Hell is good? Yes, hell is a good becaus...

Today was an enlightening day. I met Alexander Pruss, someone I highly admire and respect, and to be honest, am a little intimidated by. I took notes on my phone from his lecture, and I'll copy it here, but do scroll down for my interaction with him during Q&A. 

I suffered the death of a friend today. I loved her, and I loved her greatly. We made plans together, to graduate together, to go camping together, to shake the world up for Christ together. Those plans will not come to fruition. Love acts. Love that does not act is not love. And now, I cannot act. So, do I not love anymore? This is an interesting question.  Dietrich  von Hildebrand was married and widowed before he married Alice. From what I am told, there was a great respect on Alice's part for the deceased wife, and presumably, Dietrich still loved his first wife. But is this the same love? It might seem like it. The day before she died, he loved her, and loved her with a spousal love. The day after she died, it's probably also true that he loved her, and loved her with a spousal love. But that kind of love is unitive, and that unity is no longer possible (Maybe that's an argument for an afterlife. If one doesn't continue to exist after death, we cannot love the...

On the right hand of this blog, I say that I am single and ready to mingle. Indeed, I am, but I grow weary of it. Recently, I had become attached to this woman, and I thought about dating her. We had a few conversations about it, but I stopped when she said, "I am not attracted to you. You are everything I want in a man, but I just am not attracted to you." And, you know, that's definitely not easy to hear. It's had me up a few nights, and I've been thinking, so this here is just what I have so far. Nothing too organized, but some ideas for fodder.  It is true, I am not an attractive man. I can't deny that. I'm not fit, I have a porous nose, and I have a round face. She has said that she can't be compatible with someone she isn't attracted to, but I've already written about such slogans before. So, that part is nonsense. I mean, in her view, I am a virtuous man, a faithful man, and a son of the Church, which, in my opinion, is really all ...

It is pretty standard to say that love is unitive. Unity seems to require consent. It wouldn't sound right to say that you and I are united in this goal when I will the goal while you will we don't meet our goal. If we happen to reach that goal through force or by accident, our unity doesn't seem genuine.  So, what happens if you love a person but that person does not love you? Can it be said that real love is happening? You will not be united, so, what gives?  The issue came up recently when my I was expressing my, oh I don't know what to call it, my inner conflict on attending a friends wedding. Because things had been tense and our last few conversations (with the bride to be) were pretty much us arguing, I was kind of in doubt about the status of our friendship. Things weren't resolved and were up in the air. So, I was expressing all the anger and confusion to my friend, and I said to her, 'You know, if I don't go to the wedding, I don't think we (...

There is this common saying that once you cease desiring a thing, you will then obtain it. A friend recently told me that I will finally have a girlfriend when I stop looking for one. This seems paradoxical. Take some other desire, like the well-being of your child. Then, some maniac who likes to see you suffer tortures your child because he will get the response desired from you. However, when he sees that once you become indifferent to your child's well-being, he stops torturing your child. So, what is the right thing here to do? In the same way, there is a sense in which pursuing marriage and pursuing a relationship is a good thing, like pursuing the well-being of your child is a good thing, and so the refusal to pursue that good is an immoral thing to do. One difference that can be appealed to here is that one has a duty to your child, but not a duty to pursuing a relationship, so the dilemma doesn't exist in not wanting to want to be in a relationship (whoa...meta). O...

There may be an inconsistency in my thinking about marriage (yes, another marriage post. Sorry). On one hand, I believe in arranged marriages. I think this is very Biblical. Adam and Eve were an arranged marriage, and they are supposed to be models of how we humans are supposed to be in a state of grace, for which Jesus died, to restore us to our Edenic glory, and then some. On the other hand, I think it is a bit foolish that couples get engaged, or married, too early. What exactly is the tension here? 

I was once assigned a "How-To" project. That is, I had to go up in front of the class, and demonstrate to them all how to do something. I was given about a week to think of something, but being who I am, I procrastinated, and didn't even bother until the night before. Nothing came to mind, so I just decided to take an F on the assignment. Before I left to school that morning, my mom packed my lunch, which was really just sandwich parts I needed to put together. Figuring I had nothing really to lose, I decided to show everyone how to make a sandwich, and I would just make stuff up as I went along.  So, I made up rules and legends about the types of breads that were acceptable with the types of meats. And I would put everything together, trying to make commentary on every ingredient that I put on there. One thing that I didn't make up was the rule that you don't put tomatoes in contact with the bread, because the moisture will thin out and break the bread. And as...

In my previous post, I mentioned I lost my friend as a friend. We are no longer friends.  Friends seek the good for one another, and goods and truth are the same things. You cannot have something based on an untruth as a good. The most perfect friendship is united in all the Truth. My friendship with the character we are calling Uriah ended for precisely that reason. I can pinpoint that moment. I remember it well. 

I am at that age where I, as a single man, observe his friends getting married and starting families, and begin to wonder, is there something wrong with me? The same week I broke up, like, three of my friends got engaged, including one who was single only three weeks earlier. I was happy for them all, but I didn't feel comfortable seeing all that. Of course, you hear the well-meaning but naive lines such as, "It's okay to be single" or "You shouldn't put your confidence in a partner" or the rage inducing, "God is enough."  These all sort of betray a kind of anti-marriage view, and I've noticed a lot of this philosophy comes from emotionally hurt women and people that were duped by the Sam Harris wave that hit Protestantism a few years ago. I say duped because while everyone was distributing Harris' book,  I Kissed Dating Goodbye, encouraging people to be single forever and follow Harris' model, Harris found himself a wife.