Paradox of Non-Pursuit
There is this common saying that once you cease desiring a thing, you will then obtain it. A friend recently told me that I will finally have a girlfriend when I stop looking for one. This seems paradoxical. Take some other desire, like the well-being of your child. Then, some maniac who likes to see you suffer tortures your child because he will get the response desired from you. However, when he sees that once you become indifferent to your child's well-being, he stops torturing your child. So, what is the right thing here to do? In the same way, there is a sense in which pursuing marriage and pursuing a relationship is a good thing, like pursuing the well-being of your child is a good thing, and so the refusal to pursue that good is an immoral thing to do. One difference that can be appealed to here is that one has a duty to your child, but not a duty to pursuing a relationship, so the dilemma doesn't exist in not wanting to want to be in a relationship (whoa...meta). O...