Hope and Despair

My uncle is dying. If he were to die tonight, I would have no doubt he would land in hell. I feel partially responsible because when I was a teen, I took his vulnerable soul and introduced him to Satanism, and encouraged him to denounce his Catholic, even if nominal, faith. So now, I have to consider what options are available to me so that I may undo my damage and help save him. My options are few, if any, and prospects do not look good. For now, all I can do is wait. And pray. Can I hope? I don't know. 

 Last week, when I was teaching Catechism for the teens, I was going through the theological virtues, and I had some difficulty trying to explain hope to them. I gave the very basic, "It's a combination of desire and expectation of something good, in our case, communion with God." As far as I can tell, this is adequate, but I don't know that I fully comprehend it. Is it not presumptuous to expect God to save me? On what do I base this expectation? Probability? 50%+1? Can I hope for my uncle to be in communion with God after he dies? Maybe Christianity tells me I should, but I don't know how or why. How can I have hope in something I know won't come true? For example, in the Fatima prayer, we ask Jesus to "lead all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy." But I know Jesus won't lead all souls to heaven, some people will go to hell, so why am I praying for such a thing to occur? 

 This may be despair, which I don't want to fall into. Can my uncle be saved? I suppose it is possible. It is possible that on the day he fell into his coma, he decided to give his life over to Christ, and no one but God knows. Is it probable? God may have given my uncle that grace, I don't doubt that for a moment, but taking my uncles habits and character into account, I doubt he cooperated with that grace. Possible? Always. Probable? Well...

 I suppose if I keep him in my prayers after he dies, I'm acting on the possibility that he died in God's grace, and I can offer up my guilt to help ease his burdens. So I guess I'll keep praying. 

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