Should We Call Transgender People By Their New Names?

I have this friend. Well, I had this friend. I had a bit of a crush on her. She was smart, did collegiate debate, was a convert to Catholicism from the ICOC just like me, but, having the luck that I do, she ended up actively participating in the homosexual lifestyle and from what I can tell, now identifies as transgender, though her and I stopped talking before the transgender stuff happened. The last conversation her and I had was an argument on whether I should call her "Tony", which she apparently legally changed her name to. She tried to justify it by saying she identified strongly with St. Anthony and so she took up his name, but I didn't buy it. I saw where this was going, and I refused to call her "Tony." She got so upset and refused to talk to me unless I called her by her preferred name. We haven't talked since.

So, should we call transgender people by their "new" names. Should we call Bruce Jenner "Caitlyn"? Should we call Bradley Manning "Chelsea"? At first, I didn't think this was a big deal. So long as I still got to call men men and women women, names were arbitrary. But then I came across a podcast by Dr. Taylor Marshall on why we should not name our guardian angels. I never thought to name mine, though I know some angels do have names (St. Michael, Gabriel, Raphael). But the point he makes is a good one, we cannot name angels because we have no authority over them.

I can name my dog whatever I want because I own my dog. I cannot name another man's dog. I can name my own children. I cannot name the children of other people. Or anyone else whatsoever for that matter. I do not have this authority that parents have over their children, and over their property, like their dogs. There's a humorous video of DJ Khaled where he goes into his closet and talks about his favorite shoes, which he has given names, which is funny because the shoes already have names given to them by the company. So, it's dumb but kinda funny (it's the same video where we get the "congratulations, you played yourself" meme). But the point remains, you cannot properly name something you don't have authority over. We do not have authority over angels, so we cannot name them.

Now, when a family bestows a name upon a child, it is that person's name for life. A legal change wouldn't matter. Suppose I entered a witness protection program and the government gave me a new name to hide me. I would recognize that this isn't my real name, and I would long for a return to use my real name in safety.

So what about in marriage, when a woman changes her last name? Such a change would be appropriate because the woman is no longer under the authority of her father, but under that of her husband, and so she takes his last name. She doesn't obliterate her first name, she is still an individual, but she is part of a new family with a new head. So that change is legitimate. (This also explains why men taking the names of their wives is inappropriate. The woman is not the head of the man.)

What about when we take on a Christian name, or a confirmation name? For example, when I was confirmed, I took on Thomas Aquinas' name. So I am Adrian Thomas Aquinas Urias. In that case, my name isn't done away with so much as it is perhaps enhanced or united with a saint whose virtues I wish to imitate. So, my name is still fully intact.

There are plenty of examples in scripture where God renames people, like Peter and Abraham, and of course God has the authority to do so. From what I understand, the power of names is utilized in the Rite of Exorcism. Priests will ask for the demon's name in an exorcism because this gives the priest some power over the demon, and if they refuse, will give eventually give up their name if Jesus' name is constantly invoked. 

Now, when my friend wanted to change her name from, say it was Emily, from Emily to Tony, is that legitimate? I don't see how it would be. She is obliterating the name she was given by the proper authority, and I must respect that authority.

Does she have the authority to rename herself? I doubt it. To say she can is to say her father, or her family in general, has no authority over her. I don't see why turning into an adult changes this. We are biblically commanded to honor them, and the lack of qualification indicates this is a universal command.

So, no, I do not need to call my friend "Tony". Nor do we have to call transgender people by their new names.