Cheating Goals

It used to be my biggest fear, up until recently, that my spouse (not that I'm married) would be unfaithful. I would wonder if I would be able to forgive them or be separated, or go to counseling, or whatever. There is a form of infidelity though that seems to be a degree worse than I previously imagined. I imagined that my spouse would be unfaithful for some typical reason. There is some more attractive guy she met, or she was didn't feel loved by me anymore, or maybe she just didn't love me anymore. But when I had a woman tell me that she would tell me about her attraction to another man, knowing I desired a relationship with her, not just to reject me, but to further hurt me, I imagined what that would look like if we were married. It would look like infidelity, which is intrinsically wrong, and wrong like these other types of infidelity that I previously mentioned, but infidelity so that I would be hurt. This seems much worse, but anyways, this has a strange consequence. 

In the first few examples, a spouse may pursue an adulterous relationship (maybe she is just too attracted to her coworker and the temptation is too strong) as an adulterous relationship. That is the end or goal. However, in the second case, infidelity in order to make the spouse jealous and to spite the spouse is the goal while infidelity is not the goal of the adulterous relationship. So, an adulterous relationship can be pursued without the intent of it being adulterous, rather, the intent is hatred and spite. So, I wonder if this premise can lead some atypical form of adultery that might actually be not as bad. Or if not, if they necessarily make them even worse. That seems more plausible as sexual relations require, in order for them to be at all permissible, some willing of the good for the other. It takes that, kills it, and replaces it with malice. 

Either way, it's a strange thing to say, adulterous relations needn't have as their goal the adulterous relation.