Does Man Exist? A Conversation at PetSmart
I was at PetSmart and wondered what life would be like as a fish.
Goldie: Say, Pampano, do you think Man exists?
Pampano: No, not at all. I've never seen a Man. Have you?
G: No, I have not. But I think I might have some idea that He does.
P: Is that so? All I experience is our body of water, which I have swam every inch of, and I've never seen any Man. Clearly, Goldie, you are delusional.
G: I'm not sure only experience is what we fish should base our knowledge on.
P: Oh really? You know what the difference between me and you is? I believe in science, because science works. I know how the bubble machine operates, and my study of snails tells me how beautiful our natural tank is.
G: You've misunderstood me. I'm not denying the power of the natural sciences, but I'm denying that they're the only source of knowledge.
P: And what knowledge do you have that I don't, Mr. "I-Can-Hold-A-Thought-For-Long
G: Well, for example, I know that if the snail on the water barrier on the left is traveling at 0.005mph and starts at 12:05, and the snail on the right at 1:00 traveling at 0.00028mph , then they're going to fatally crash into each other sometime tomorrow around the pirate ship.
P: That's sounds like science! Proving my point.
G: It's math, which is presupposed by science. But we can think of those in our minds, without any experience. Hence, science can't prove what it presupposes, lest you reason in a circle.
P: Therefore, Man exists?! Goldie, you've been spending too much time with the clown fish!
G: Clowns scare me. My point is merely I have applied some thought, and I think Man exists.
P: Then show me.
G: Okay. Well, first off, it seems like a bit odd that this body of water called a tank is perfectly suitable for our life to be sustained. I'm not sure we could survive with the bubble machine, and think of the filth we would swim in if it weren't for the snails and sucker fish. The water has the correct ph level, temperature, among other things. I'm beginning to think perhaps this wasn't an accident.
P: Well, if the tank was designed, it surely was a poor designer! Look! Who creates a tank the shape of a rectangle? Sure does seem like a lack of creativity from the creator. And look at the bubble machine, with green stuff growing on it. Some design! And why not have the temperature a little warm? I like a little warmth on my scales every now and again, don't you? There is no design. If the tank were any different, we would see other kinds of fish in it. The tank was not adapted for us, we are adapted to it.
G: What about the existence of the bubble machine? While it may not have been designed, surely there must be an explanation for it's existence.
P: And why should there be? It's just there.
G: But why is it "just there"? I want to know why. The best explanation I can come up with is that is there and maintained by Man.
P: Nonsense. We know all the ins and outs of that machine. We know how it works. That's the explanation.
G: That doesn't answer the question. I may know how the blowfish puffs up, but that wouldn't explain why. We may know the how of the bubble machine, but that doesn't explain the why. A man would be powerful enough to pull off such a feat.
P: It has to be there, because we're here, and if it weren't there, we wouldn't be here to talk about it. This is grasping at straws, Goldie.
G: Okay, last one.
P: Floor me.
G: The food. Don't you think it's strange that food just sort of comes out of nowhere? How it just pops into being on the surface and that's it?
P: No. We see the bubbles come into existence out of nothing, and then go back out of existence. This is nothing spectacular. These bubbles are unstable, and can be easily filled with water. You can feel the nothing against your scales. Nothing is not nothing. Nothing is something.
G: I think you're equivocating there. Bubbles are not nothing. They are something, a vacuum of water, what Man calls air or space.
P: Even if that were true, if the food came from Man, where did Man come from? Answer me that!
G: I don't need an explanation of the explanation for the explanation to be adequate.
P: How convenient. But this is not miraculous feat, because it happens all the time. In fact, I can predict it. It will happen again after the lights turn off and 15 minutes after the lights turn. It is a frequent occurrence, and therefore not caused by any agent. A miracle is by definition a rare occurrence.
G: Don't you regularly cause things? If we define a miracle as agent causation, and agents can work regularly, then I don't see how this follows. I can think of no other kind of being that would want to feed us so regularly.
P: Then you have to go debunk all the other beliefs in birds, and cats, and lochness monsters, and everything else you've thought up spending time with that reef.
G: I'm not sure, because all those other animals are essentially our predators. But it seems like it is only the Human who is willing and loving enough to care and feed us just in virtue of the fact that we're fish. He doesn't need us, but He wants us, and that just goes to show how really loving and benevolent Man can be. So far as I can see, it is the only thing that fits the description of the food.
P: Well, if he is such a good Human, then why is there is pirate ship and a skeleton? Couldn't Man so easily have prevented that?
G: Maybe. But I doubt it's there for lack of purpose.
P: You keep believing in man, Goldie, you and your delusions LOL! You're such-
It was at this point a green net came and abducted him and was never seen again.
Goldie: Say, Pampano, do you think Man exists?
Pampano: No, not at all. I've never seen a Man. Have you?
G: No, I have not. But I think I might have some idea that He does.
P: Is that so? All I experience is our body of water, which I have swam every inch of, and I've never seen any Man. Clearly, Goldie, you are delusional.
G: I'm not sure only experience is what we fish should base our knowledge on.
P: Oh really? You know what the difference between me and you is? I believe in science, because science works. I know how the bubble machine operates, and my study of snails tells me how beautiful our natural tank is.
G: You've misunderstood me. I'm not denying the power of the natural sciences, but I'm denying that they're the only source of knowledge.
P: And what knowledge do you have that I don't, Mr. "I-Can-Hold-A-Thought-For-Long
G: Well, for example, I know that if the snail on the water barrier on the left is traveling at 0.005mph and starts at 12:05, and the snail on the right at 1:00 traveling at 0.00028mph , then they're going to fatally crash into each other sometime tomorrow around the pirate ship.
P: That's sounds like science! Proving my point.
G: It's math, which is presupposed by science. But we can think of those in our minds, without any experience. Hence, science can't prove what it presupposes, lest you reason in a circle.
P: Therefore, Man exists?! Goldie, you've been spending too much time with the clown fish!
G: Clowns scare me. My point is merely I have applied some thought, and I think Man exists.
P: Then show me.
G: Okay. Well, first off, it seems like a bit odd that this body of water called a tank is perfectly suitable for our life to be sustained. I'm not sure we could survive with the bubble machine, and think of the filth we would swim in if it weren't for the snails and sucker fish. The water has the correct ph level, temperature, among other things. I'm beginning to think perhaps this wasn't an accident.
P: Well, if the tank was designed, it surely was a poor designer! Look! Who creates a tank the shape of a rectangle? Sure does seem like a lack of creativity from the creator. And look at the bubble machine, with green stuff growing on it. Some design! And why not have the temperature a little warm? I like a little warmth on my scales every now and again, don't you? There is no design. If the tank were any different, we would see other kinds of fish in it. The tank was not adapted for us, we are adapted to it.
G: What about the existence of the bubble machine? While it may not have been designed, surely there must be an explanation for it's existence.
P: And why should there be? It's just there.
G: But why is it "just there"? I want to know why. The best explanation I can come up with is that is there and maintained by Man.
P: Nonsense. We know all the ins and outs of that machine. We know how it works. That's the explanation.
G: That doesn't answer the question. I may know how the blowfish puffs up, but that wouldn't explain why. We may know the how of the bubble machine, but that doesn't explain the why. A man would be powerful enough to pull off such a feat.
P: It has to be there, because we're here, and if it weren't there, we wouldn't be here to talk about it. This is grasping at straws, Goldie.
G: Okay, last one.
P: Floor me.
G: The food. Don't you think it's strange that food just sort of comes out of nowhere? How it just pops into being on the surface and that's it?
P: No. We see the bubbles come into existence out of nothing, and then go back out of existence. This is nothing spectacular. These bubbles are unstable, and can be easily filled with water. You can feel the nothing against your scales. Nothing is not nothing. Nothing is something.
G: I think you're equivocating there. Bubbles are not nothing. They are something, a vacuum of water, what Man calls air or space.
P: Even if that were true, if the food came from Man, where did Man come from? Answer me that!
G: I don't need an explanation of the explanation for the explanation to be adequate.
P: How convenient. But this is not miraculous feat, because it happens all the time. In fact, I can predict it. It will happen again after the lights turn off and 15 minutes after the lights turn. It is a frequent occurrence, and therefore not caused by any agent. A miracle is by definition a rare occurrence.
G: Don't you regularly cause things? If we define a miracle as agent causation, and agents can work regularly, then I don't see how this follows. I can think of no other kind of being that would want to feed us so regularly.
P: Then you have to go debunk all the other beliefs in birds, and cats, and lochness monsters, and everything else you've thought up spending time with that reef.
G: I'm not sure, because all those other animals are essentially our predators. But it seems like it is only the Human who is willing and loving enough to care and feed us just in virtue of the fact that we're fish. He doesn't need us, but He wants us, and that just goes to show how really loving and benevolent Man can be. So far as I can see, it is the only thing that fits the description of the food.
P: Well, if he is such a good Human, then why is there is pirate ship and a skeleton? Couldn't Man so easily have prevented that?
G: Maybe. But I doubt it's there for lack of purpose.
P: You keep believing in man, Goldie, you and your delusions LOL! You're such-
It was at this point a green net came and abducted him and was never seen again.
This is incredible. Thank you for providing me with 5 minutes of non-boredom at work.
ReplyDelete