Marrying Age
A few months ago, I went on a date with a woman. We met on Facebook, through common Catholic circles, and she was incredibly smart and pretty, so, we met up. Nothing really happened, but I learned from her that she was about 12 years older than I was. That surprised me, because she didn't look it. I thought she was my age, probably older, but not by much, a year or two maybe. So, I'm a bit disappointed that it didn't work out, and sometimes I wonder what would have happened if it did (it was mutually understood that it wasn't going to happen, so I wasn't like rejected or anything). Particularly, I wondered if age would be a factor.
I get this intuition that age does play a significant enough factor to make one pause. if I was 24, then she was 36. If we were to get married, that would sound strange? But is there anything rational or is there a principle behind the hesitancy?
As a Catholic, I understand the final cause of sexual relationships in the marriage is children. So, I think, if you're able to have children, then you're able to get married. This can be anywhere from 8 to 13 years old. Mary was somewhere between the ages of 11 and 14 when she carried our Lord, and she was married (with a special dispensation, of course) to Joseph.
Of course, you can hear the people say, "Adrian, are you saying a 12 year old girl can marry a 30 year old man?! Pedophile!" Maybe, but no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm sure that's possible, but it would be as equally inappropriate if I, a 24 year old man were to marry, say, a 60 year old woman. Is there pedophilia there? No, but there is still lingering a kind of impropriety.
See, when you marry someone, I think we look for someone is who roughly an equal. Many people read the story of Adam and of Eve in that Eve was created in such a way that we are to understand them as equals. So, I want someone who is comparable to me in intellect. I might not be so attracted to like to super genius with an IQ in the 200's, but I don't want someone who has a mental disability either. But you know, like attracts like. We might not think too much of it if we were to read of two super geniuses getting together or two disabled people getting together. The same might be said of race, money, culture, hobbies, maturity, etc. If so, then age would be a factor that we want to be more or less in our age range. Where a line is exactly may be a bit blurry, but it's somewhere. Maybe five years or so, give or take, in my age category.
Or maybe I'm wrong. Who knows.
Of course, you can hear the people say, "Adrian, are you saying a 12 year old girl can marry a 30 year old man?! Pedophile!" Maybe, but no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm sure that's possible, but it would be as equally inappropriate if I, a 24 year old man were to marry, say, a 60 year old woman. Is there pedophilia there? No, but there is still lingering a kind of impropriety.
See, when you marry someone, I think we look for someone is who roughly an equal. Many people read the story of Adam and of Eve in that Eve was created in such a way that we are to understand them as equals. So, I want someone who is comparable to me in intellect. I might not be so attracted to like to super genius with an IQ in the 200's, but I don't want someone who has a mental disability either. But you know, like attracts like. We might not think too much of it if we were to read of two super geniuses getting together or two disabled people getting together. The same might be said of race, money, culture, hobbies, maturity, etc. If so, then age would be a factor that we want to be more or less in our age range. Where a line is exactly may be a bit blurry, but it's somewhere. Maybe five years or so, give or take, in my age category.
Or maybe I'm wrong. Who knows.
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