Dancing Is Sexual

I can't groove. I wish I could, but I can't even if my life depended on it. Well, okay, I can, but just not well. While I would like to dismiss this as some trivial social thing, like playing some board game like chess or something, I don't think I can, and this is becoming more apparent to me as I try to look for a lover.

If there could be any good empirical proof for a difference between men and women, all we have to do is ask them to dance. There is a difference in the way we express ourselves in dance, I think. Even if we make the same movements and we imitate one another, like we see sometimes in ice-skating, we appreciate the different sexes differently, one for her grace and the other for his strength. This could be indicative of something, namely, dance is an expression of sexuality. Why do women and men dance with the opposite sex more so than the same sex (which might be a bit more awkward among men than women). Or maybe I can rephrase the question, why is dancing with the opposite different, and perhaps more significant, than dancing with the same sex? 

I think it really is an expression of sexuality, and that can make one feel, I dunno, stunted. I was at my friends wedding party. There was this girl, and she was really cute and we struck up conversation, which is like, for me, incredibly ballsy. And we talked about her art and a bit about the faith and I thought we had a decent conversation. Nothing profound, but decent. So, I asked her for a dance, and she said no, because the music playing wasn't dance music. Actually, it was dance music if you are Mexican, but for a SoCal white girl like herself, I could see how it wasn't. I knew she meant something a bit more electronic, without a tuba and accordion. So, I decided to wait. Besides, it was still early and not many people were dancing anyhow. 

Later that night, she came up to the table of groomsmen (she was a bridesmaid) and joked that we were being terrible groomsmen for not dancing with the bridesmaid and so she asked the table who would be joining her on the dance floor. I did not hesitate to stand up, and she ignored me. She kept staring at the rest of the groomsmen, and not wanting to look like a fool and awkwardly stand there, I just kind of made my way to the dance floor anyways. Obviously, she just meant anyone but me. 

So, your typical rejection story. I mean, I'm not fooling anyone. I'm not a good looking guy. I was the least attractive groomsmen (but the only one with balls to strike up a conversation or be willing to dance, despite the fact I know nothing about dancing and I was afraid that I would most certainly make a fool for myself). But, the fact that it is a rejection story should demonstrate that dancing does have something to do with communicating sexuality, even if it is at a flirtatious level. 

I want to make a distinction between dancing with and dancing at each other. Dancing with each other is indeed a unity of the two persons. We see this most obviously in something like ballroom dancing or some forms of Latin dancing where the two parties are holding each other. There are other types of unitive dancing that doesn't always require that physical touch, like square dancing, which can be an activity of the whole group, not just a pair of men and women. And then there is dancing at eachother, where there isn't really a form and pattern like there is in ballroom and square dancing. The movements are spontaneous and non-unitive, and one could easily slip away from this partner unnoticed and jump in somewhere else with someone else. 

There seems to be a parallel with marriage. The former is like a union, where we stay with one person, and there is an elegance and self-giving of each other. There is unity in body, either by holding hands or grabbing her waist, your foot moving forward while hers moves back, and unity in mind as well, as where we shall go and how we shall get there is more or less known. She is there, and I am there, and we acknowledge one another. Dancing at each other is like being promiscuous. You have no loyalty to a dance partner, and it is completely chaotic and unpredictable. When you dance at each other, you focus on yourself, and your own performance, and the other is merely an object. The relationship is an I-It relationship, not I-Thou. And so when your dance partner wanders off, you don't mind, you keep going because you are pleased with yourself, a masturbatory narcissism. Perhaps this is why dancing, like most other expressions of modern art, has become ugly and meaningless. 

With an understanding of dance as an expression of sexuality, either unitive or as a self expression of ones masculinity or femininity, maybe we can get rid of this garbage music we hear nowadays. We wouldn't have a need for it.