Meta Desire

Consider the many girls who do not like me, whom I have attempted to date. Say they clearly and soberly understand what it is about me that they do not like. Maybe it is something physical, or even something having to do with some character trait. Say Alex does not like Ben because Ben is like X. But Ben can change X. So, Ben says to Alex, "Alex, I will change X. Then, it will no longer be an obstacle. Would you like that?" 

Why should Alex say no? Alex has no desire for Ben, but if Alex could like Ben if it were not for X, why would Alex not want Ben to be rid of X? Basically, I could ask, do you want to want me? Because, I'm in a few situations (I date around...) that are pretty similar to that. I can't think of a reason someone would give to not wanting to desire someone. If there is a reason, it's probably going to be something that fits in the first order, and not the second order of desire, and so, I can't see a reason, in principle, why someone would say no. 

So for example, Say Alex doesn't desire Ben because Ben is overweight. So Ben asks, "Would you like for me to lose the weight?" Why would Alex say "no"? Or Alex doesn't desire Ben because Ben is a jerk. So Ben asks, "Would you like for me to stop being a jerk?" Alex realizes that if Ben were to stop being such a jerk, she might like the guy. So, why would she say no? 

Here is a slightly different, and maybe more interesting case. Say Alex doesn't like Ben because Ben is just not a handsome dude. Otherwise, she realizes he's a great guy and would be an ideal boyfriend. Then, Ben explains to Alex that he has created a potion that would change her state of mind to be such that his looks aren't an issue for her, and presumably, she will then be attracted to him. Should she take the potion? She could say, "Well, I'm beautiful, and you are not, and people are going to think we are a weird couple, and people will stare, and people will think yada yada yada..." But, if she is in a state of mind where she loves him, then those objections wouldn't matter. 

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