Silversun Pickups

This past Friday, I went, along with my buddy Andy, to go see one of my favorite bands, Silversun Pickups. It was definitely a different experience from the other concerts I've been to. I usually go see punk or metal bands, and the environment can be pretty aggressive. Not in any dangerous way, but in a communal way. Silversun Pickups isn't like that. I've been in my share of moshpits, had my shins busted up in ska dances, maybe participated a wall of death or two, but there was no such tomfoolery at the Silversun Pickups concert. This is because it causes a different reaction. Which is kind of strange to say, that music can move you like this. I mean, it's very obvious that it does this. We all experience this. But it's still kind of mysterious to me how it is even possible for this to happen.

But anyway, I remember trying to show my then girlfriend some of their music, and she immediately shut it down after a few notes. "Too girly" she said. And I was like, what? But even if it was, so what? What does that even mean? I'm a man. I like this band. It's clearly a man singing. Whatever, I thought. And I played her something with a bass voice, and moved on. But then I went to this concert, and I noticed it was a different culture. Lots of white people. And I mean, there's lots of white people at rock concerts, but they're not like, sweater vest middle class soccer mom white people at a Slipknot concert. But there was a lot of that at the Silversun Pickups concert. And it made me just slightly uncomfortable. Not my people, clearly. Lots of hipsters and art hoes. And I thought to myself: yo, is this a girly band? Do I like a girl band? Then when the band came on and started playing, and all the girls started dancing in like their, um, interpretive way that girls dance when they're alone I guess, I was like, Oh Dear, I like a girly band. Hey, shout out to the guy in the front row of the balcony with the beer in his hand the whole time rocking out though. I appreciated that masculine energy. 

Another observation, which I thought was kind of lame. Nobody was like...rocking out down in the general admission area. I mean, a few head bobs here and there, but like, no excitement whatsoever, and whether this was a girly band or not, I thought that completely unjustified. I mean, maybe, in their defense, they aren't really used to really moving their bodies to music, especially live music, but you'd think a cool experience (and a $120 ticket) would move you a bit. No fist pumps in the air, arms moving back and forth, none of that. If I could afford that ticket, I'd be doing that. I'd be encouraging everyone else to do so as well. 

Or maybe I'm the one that is out of place. I mean, I AM out of place. I'm a metal head in an indie band concert. So, what is different about this culture? Well, I've given it some thought, and here is my guess. In the metal culture, you have an inflaming of the passions, particularly rage. Does rage articulate? Not in a verbal way, at least as a concert goer (lyrics are a different matter). It does express itself in a very physical way though. So, it's contact with the human person is very obvious because the reaction is very obvious. Does that mean music like Silversun Pickups not invoke as much passion or passion to the same degree of intensity? No, not at all. At least, not the way I experience it. So what is it doing? What kind of emotions is it attempting to provoke? I think it's more contemplative. And there isn't much movement in contemplation. And this concert has helped me understand some aspects of my prayer life a little more. 

So, when I am told to pray, or do a devotion or whatever, I am told to contemplate. But this has always been proven difficult for me. Like, what does that even mean? Literally, what does that mean? Well, it means something like "a simple gaze upon truth." Something kind of mystical about that. When we hear beautiful music, as I consider Silversun Pickups to produce some beautiful music (and some beautiful bass in particular), the order or well informed patterns of their music does engage me into a kind of gaze, though not of sight. And in this gaze, I am able to see and grasp something which is pleasing and delightful to the soul, and makes one happy. Metal rarely makes one happy (it doesn't make me sad or angry, but I don't have a real soul satisfaction at the end of many songs). Much of Silversun Pickups makes me happy. So, now I have a better idea of what it is that I need to do in my prayer life. I am aiming to find this gaze. Music helps me a lot in this regard. Chant does this. Chant is a sung prayer. A prayer done twice, as is often misattributed to St. Augustine. 

So perhaps I cannot find my gaze without music. I am handicapped in this regard. That is okay. How I love my help.